Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sanford Having An Affair, Not Hiking the Appalachian Trail

Disgraced South Carolina governor Mark Sanford has surprised no one by revealing that he would rather have an affair with an Argentinian woman than hike the Appalachian Trail.

The story began a few days ago, when Sanford went missing. No one knew where he was: not his staff, his security detail, or his wife and children. Although somewhat unusual for a head of state, the absence occurred during a break period, and his staff suggested that the governor was just escaping to get away from it all.

After four days, his staff said that the governor was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Was this true? A person does not just 'hike the Appalachian Trail' for four days. It takes preparation, timing, and transport. But that was the story at that time.

The next day, the governor was tracked at the airport, where he had flown in from Argentina. Just a mistake, the staff said; he was having a little Argentine vacation, not hiking the Appalachian Trail.

And finally, today, Sanford has admitted that he flew to Argentina to have an affair with an Argentinian women. That's much more fun that slogging across the Appalachian Range with a 40 pound backpack. But it's also more damaging to the political career of a possible future presidential candidate.

Sanford has resigned as chairman of the Republican Governors Association. He stated that he went to Argentina to end the affair. He has split with his wife, but he is trying to salvage his political career.

Read the Washington Post article here

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Barrel Monster Man Charged With Vandalism

Joseph Carnevale, a street artist and junior at North Carolina University, was inspired to steal three construction barrels and create a hulking barrel monster on the construction site. The barrel monster has been received well locally, and even the construction company is happy with the publicity and does not want to press charges. But the local police are not being carried along in this wave of good will. They have arrested Carnevale for a misdemeanor and intend to press charges despite the lack of public support.

Check on Facebook and join one of the groups that are supporting Carnevale. Hopefully the police will realize that this is not a case that needs to be prosecuted (I believe he would be looking at a fine at best, anyway).

Read the full Barrel Monster story here

Girl Sues Tattoo Artist For 56 Stars On Her Face

An 18 year old girl in Belgium is suing a tattoo artist for tattooing 56 stars on her face when she only asked for 3. Kimberley Vlaminck claims she felt no pain during the tattooing, so she fell asleep. When she awoke, she was appalled to see half of her face covered in stars.

The tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, has denied the allegations, claiming that the girl was awake all the time, and that the problems only began when the girl's father saw the tattoos.

What really happened? From photos seen on free-to-air news, the tattoo artist is covered in tattoos and piercings. Did he drug the girl, tattoo her extensively against her will, and then hope that when she awakened, she would want to be his bride, a la Bride of Frankenstein? Or was the girl awake all the time, just going along with what was happening, and was it the father's reaction that caused the whole situation to change? Or was it a combination of the two?

The Night Googler is alternatively intrigued and frustrated by these types of news stories; of wanting to know the truth, but realizing that we will never know.

Read the full article here

Update (25 June 2009): Kimberley Vlaminck has admitted that she asked for all those stars and was fully awake while it happened. She was actually happy with the tattoos, but her dad's reaction caused her to change her story. So this time I think we know the truth.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: "Let's Move In Together"

I've watched this Onion video a couple of times now, just to appreciate the way they have combined typical sniping 'couples argument' language into the context of a news interview. Priceless!

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Green Porno with Isabella Rossellini

Yes, it is not a joke that the classy actress Isabella Rossellini has made a series of extremely short films for the Sundance Channel on the sex lives of insects. Just to outdo David Attenborough (in so many ways), she narrates - and acts out - the insect roles as they do it like they do on the Sundance Channel. There's something extremely sexy about Isabella, in snail suit, saying, "I can withdraw my entire body into my shell, where I can hide my vagina and my penis. I have both!" in that sultry European accent. Biologists must be absolutely going off!

Click here for more of Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno