Adolf Hitler's Birthday Ruined

Poor little three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell: not only did Shoprite refuse to put his name on his birthday cake, but, more importantly, he has to deal with having that name all his life. His parents, the more normally named Heath and Deborah Campbell, got the cake made at a Wal-Mart instead. Heath says it's just a name and people have to get over it.

But if you think the Campbell parents are making a statement about how we need to move on, think again. Poor Adolf has a sister named 'JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell', who is nearly two, and a one-year-old brother named 'Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell'.

Honestly, you have to wonder why we put people through 8 years of school to become a doctor. Even to drive a car, you have to practice, then pass a practical and a written test. But to be a parent (perhaps the job with the highest responsibility of all) you only need to know how to do the horizontal bop.

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Imminent Dam Disaster (Onion Style)

Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
Here's another great example of how The Onion can take a fairly mundane parody idea and make it a gem, by carefully constructing and skewing the cliched language used in these situations (in this case, by changing it to future tense).

Click here if you cannot see the video above

You're the Abstract Artist

Explore your abstract artistic talents with this free online tool at bomono.com. Use a variety of painting tools to quickly create an abstract painting, then it's up to you to assign a deep spiritual or contextual meaning to the shapes and lines.

Click here to go to bomono.com

Elf Yourself

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

At the Elf Yourself website, you can make an elf music video with you and your friends as the stars! And it's all free! Just upload anywhere from one to five images, do some fairly simple rotating, resizing, and cropping, and you're ready to go! Then email or embed it for free (free registration is required). Downloading the video will cost a little bit of money.

Bye Bye Bratz?

In a stunning, far-reaching decision, U.S. District Judge Stephen Larson has ruled that the entire Bratz doll line has to be removed from shelves and never sold again. Mattel (makers of Barbie) have been claiming for years that MGA (the makers of Bratz) are illegal because Bratz designer Carter Bryant developed the concept for the dolls while working for Mattel. In the last seven years, MGA has developed over 40 different doll designs, including the decidedly creepy Baby Bratz (pictured left). Exactly why are these babies wearing eye makeup?

If you think the dolls look like prostitutes and that their animated counterparts present an anti-image to young girls that they should grow up to be over-made up, fashion-obsessed airheads, calm down. What will happen here is that if MGA's appeals fail, Mattel will probably begin manufacturing the Bratz line instead. It's still up to individual moms and dads to keep these things away from their kids. They're fine for adult fetishists to collect, however.

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In The Know: Are We Giving The Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power?

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Need cheering up again? Do you like parody? Do you like news parody? Then you must watch the Masters of it - The Onion - as they the format of a news discussion panel to create an entire comic universe.

MST3K Lives On at RiffTrax

Back in the 90s, a show called Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K) aired for about 10 seasons. The format consisted of a man and his robots stranded in space, forced to watch a bad movie by an evil scientist. To maintain their sanity, they took to making funny comments while watching the movie. So each week on the show, we the viewer not only get to watch a bad movie (usually a sci-fi or horror film from the 1950s), but we get to hear it trashed by these three silhouettes in the front row of the movie theater.

MST3K reached the end of its run in 1999, but it lives on at RiffTrax (http://www.rifftrax.com/). RiffTrax features three of the original riffers, including Mike Nelson, MST3K's head writer and host from 1993 to 1999. The silhouettes are gone, but you still get to download and watch a bad movie, while getting the funny comments.

Samples are available of their extensive catalog, so you can get an idea of how funny these guys are. All movies and other items are available for purchase and download in DRM-free format (yours to keep forever, with no digital rights limitations.

One of the funniest series of subjects that they riff are short instructional films from the 1940s. These shorts deal with broad subjects like buying food, teaching children, and selling insurance. They are often funny and dated in their own right, and they benefit from topical commentary from the RiffTrax gang. The cost is only 99 cents to download one of the shorts.

There's lot of other things to do on the RiffTrax site; you can even make and upload your own RiffTrax!