2009 Australian Open Tennis: Celebrity Sighting?

FYI: Octuplets = 8 Babies

USA Today reports that a California woman was relieved to find out yesterday from the team of 46 doctors, nurses, and assistants that helped her deliver her newborns that 'octuplets' does not mean that her babies were born with suction-cup laden tentacles. Rather, it means that she had just given birth to 8 babies.

Her relief was short-lived, however, as she soon realized that one octopus baby might have been preferable. "8 babies will certainly be a joy, but they will require a tremendous amount of work. That one octopus baby would have only required some kind of modified crib/fishtank" she said.

Experts say it is only the second known delivery of octuplets in the United States.

Japanese For Busy People (product review)

I was very disappointed in this book/CD package. The title was misleading. My situation is that I am going to Japan in a couple of months, and, while I am there (for work) I have a series of tasks to accomplish in a very limited period of time. I needed to learn Japanese phrases for all situations that could help me to speed things up and get done faster. For example:

"Could you hurry up with those Ramen noodles?"

"Sorry I pushed past you to get on the Bullet Train."

"I believe I am the next to be allowed entry into the Royal Palace."

Essentially, I needed a phrasebook for busy people in busy situations. The title led me to believe this is what I would get - I had no idea they were referring to people who, because they are busy, have limited time to *learn* Japanese. That's very different.

Fun for kids? The Playmobil Security Checkpoint

It's never too early to get your children acclimated to living in a police state! The Playmobil Security Checkpoint set comes with woman traveler, security checkpoint, luggage and spare change, screening machine, airport employee, and security guard. For drawbacks and personal experiences, read the hilarious product reviews!

Click here to view the Amazon page

Looking to Buy a Badonkadonk Tank?

Amazon is not just for books anymore! They can also satisfy your need for a safe, reliable, secure tank! The Badonkadonk is a unique land tank / battle cruiser that houses 5, can be controlled from within or above, and has a reasonable price tag of only $20,000.00. The product itself is amusing, but what's even better are the customer reviews - from the trailer park dweller who used it to get revenge on the guy two-timing his 'sister', to the disappointed dad who bought it for his 4 year old son and found it doesn't get up to 40 miles per hour as advertised.

Click here to view the Amazon page

Adolf Hitler's Birthday Ruined

Poor little three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell: not only did Shoprite refuse to put his name on his birthday cake, but, more importantly, he has to deal with having that name all his life. His parents, the more normally named Heath and Deborah Campbell, got the cake made at a Wal-Mart instead. Heath says it's just a name and people have to get over it.

But if you think the Campbell parents are making a statement about how we need to move on, think again. Poor Adolf has a sister named 'JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell', who is nearly two, and a one-year-old brother named 'Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell'.

Honestly, you have to wonder why we put people through 8 years of school to become a doctor. Even to drive a car, you have to practice, then pass a practical and a written test. But to be a parent (perhaps the job with the highest responsibility of all) you only need to know how to do the horizontal bop.

Read the full story here

Imminent Dam Disaster (Onion Style)

Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
Here's another great example of how The Onion can take a fairly mundane parody idea and make it a gem, by carefully constructing and skewing the cliched language used in these situations (in this case, by changing it to future tense).

Click here if you cannot see the video above